Well that dreaded week has arrived. Lorin's mom is in town! She shows up every 10 weeks for her break in the Cirque show. Has it really been 10 weeks since she was last here? I guess so. I have no idea why but she flat out fucking HATES ME!!! I don't get it. Neither does Lorin. We have discussed it over and over and over. There is just no getting it I suppose.
These are just some of the examples over the last 2 years with no particular time of when they happened but are in order.
Example 1: I try to be myself. I am a very friendly chipper type. So I am polite, nice, chatty, helpful, and just overall a happy kind of person when Amy is around. Lorin and I are always very loving around each other so we didn't act any differently. We hold hands, smile, tickle each other, and are just genuinely affectionate. Now she doesn't say this to me directly but according to her I am just an immature ass(but I can certainly tell thats what she is thinking). I get looked down on because I am happy. And Lorin has to hear about what a douchebag I am. How we shouldn't be together blah blah blah! How lazy and worthless I am (even though our house was always clean). How she is somehow supporting me and so on... OK...fine then!
Example 2: I am quiet and keep to myself when my mother-in-law is around. I don't go with the rest of them out to eat. I just gather whatever we have around the house to munch on. This time when she was in town Lorin and I laid off the affectionate behavior since it was so obviously annoying Amy. Now that she is in town this time around I am working two jobs and therefore I really wasn't home that much and I am always busy...but exhausted. So avoiding Amy was relatively easy. Just so you know, I am the type that if I don't get an invite I am not just going to invite myself and tag along. I am the type who, if I can't pay for my own meal I don't wanna have someone else do it for me. Lorin is annoyed because I won't come with them when they go out to eat. (By the way, when AMY is in town she never wants to eat home cooked meals. She just goes out to eat all the time) Lorin's sisters are also telling me to come out with them when they all go out so their mom doesn't get all grouchy and tell them about "how rude I am because I never come out with them" or "Lorin and I are not happy because we never are around each other" or "what's wrong with Lorin and Gary are they breaking up or something since they are not as affectionate as they used to be" or "he is so lazy the house is never clean(I was working two jobs you bitch), or...whatever! Grrrr...
Example 3: She's back! This time I had started in college and had quit one of my jobs(it was just not going to work 2 full time jobs and full time student). So I have one job and am now finally using my MGI Bill money for schooling. I had been talking about it for years so I finally got into a position to where I could. GOOD FOR ME! Well at the time we only had the one computer in the house that Lorin bought when her laptop took a dump and so she got a desktop Mac. Well, everytime I went to do my homework or write papers for my classes...there Amy was just goofin off on the computer. Now mind you, she has her own laptop in her room but for whatever reason she just had to be on this computer. I felt odd about asking her to get off of the computer so I could do some homework but I did every once in a while. Sometimes I would get a chipper "ok...yea sure...you have important stuff to do", or a grumble...and then she would get up, or just a stern look...then she would remember that she has to be passive aggressive and so she would fakely smile and get off the computer. This makes me uncomfortable as hell because she already hates me, but I mean come on...you have your own FUCKING computer! Smile and nod...smile and nod! So the only time I was able to be on the computer was fucking early AM. I would wait til she would go to bed which was like midnight or so and then I was free to use the computer. Most of the time this led me to be up til like sunrise sometimes. But oh well...no awkward confrontations. Well...sorta! Lorin was always pissed because I would come to bed til late. But I couldn't help it. So I didn't "hear" about so much hatred of me this time but I could just feel it. So to combat this situation for future Amy-visits I went and bought my own laptop(thank God she hasn't messed with it...I would lose my damn cool).
Example 4: Well the last time she was in town, she came at a bad time. I was out of school for the summer(not by choice...but because all the classes filled up before my grades had even posted from the Spring...I got screwed). Which means I have no GI bill money...so I am broke for the summer because my job money helps pay the bills and groceries and I had to pay for a laptop. Lorin was having issues at the Eldo job. Our cat died(one of my earlier posts in this blog)the day Amy arrived so we were already upset. Well this last time she was here it was a fucking nightmare, as previously written. So I decided to take her up on the invites to going out with the rest of them to eat(I am so broke that I kind of have to)...bad idea! I try to be nice but quiet...bad idea! I try to be socialable but not too overly chatty...bad idea! Lorin and I stay just only barely affectionate with Amy around...not so bad idea! Well I just can't win...because we had the most awkward dinner ever. So bad in fact that Lorin and I couldn't stay in the house all night. I had been trying to be social and go out with all of them when they went out to dinners over the last few visits but...that...will...never...happen...again!!! I cannot take anymore of her shit. Among all the other shitty days we had when she was here she started off in a great mood. Really...I had never seen her in such a good mood. Then...it got...horrible. She was alway in a pissy mood and she was always gossiping to Lorin's sisters about us and all kinds of other shitty behavior like: "they are so lazy" or "why do I have to pay for everything" or "why are they so upset over their cat dying...it just a cat" or "why are they acting so strange why don't they just going to break up already" or "why isn't Lorin with Mike(who Amy adores) instead of Gary(who Amy loathes)" or "why doesn't Gary have any money(duh...I don't have any GI Bill money because I am not in fucking class this summer)" or any other snarky remarks she has made openly or whispered! What the hell! I just can't win with her.
It took Lorin and I like 3 and half weeks to recover from her last visit. And now she is back! She flew in on Monday and there was some awkwardness. Luckily she is staying over at the Washoe house this time and she is only in town for a little over a week. So in this visit I am going to stick to just eating at home or for whatever I can buy my damn self. I am not going to have late papers because lack of computer usage. I am not going to get involved in family arguments. I am not going to be overly nice, just be civil. I am not going to give a damn. I am just going to pretend like she isn't here and that Lorins and my life doesn't get turned upside down with her crap!
Sorry folks my blood just gets a boiling when she shows up now. I have taken it for years now and I am truly fed up with it. I know this is one helluva rant but believe me this ain't even close to half of it. There is so much more but I would probably be typing for several weeks. So hopefully I will not be in a bad mood this week. So sorry if I am.
#4 was SRSLY the most awkward moment of my life ever, I wanted to run out of the restaurant screaming.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me like you're doing all you can, and the fact that she continues to be a guest in your home despite how she treats you just shows your true character and your class. Keep it up. Karma is a wonderful thing or she can be a bitch...yeah, i might watch a little too bit too much "My Name is Earl."
ReplyDeleteI think ignoring her and getting on with your awesome schooling/work/life in general is enough of a bird-flipping to her.
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy, yo.
My parents HATED my husband until I had my child. We've been dating on and off for 15 years and they have only tolerated and "liked" him for the past 3 years.
ReplyDeleteThey thought he was worthless, lazy, and just generally not good enough for me. They LOVED it when I broke up with him and started dating someone else and then was engaged to someone else.
I was actually disowned from age 20 to about 22 when we were living together in my townhouse... which we finally broke up (see above paragraph for my parent's love for that) because I couldn't take the stress of not having my parents and having to separate my family from my love.
I say hang in there, things will probably change later in life when she "gets over it". I never thought my parent's would get over anything dealing with Will but they did. It took a LONG ass time but it happened.
Thank you all for the kind words. Ya know the funny thing is that my mom adores Lorin...and they have only talked on the phone. My mom stand is that if I am happy then that is good enough for her. Well Lorin is happy and that makes her mom mad! When Lorin wasn't happy her mom was great with that! What a weird thing!
ReplyDeleteNo offense or anything but that sounds really shit having a mother that doesn't like to see her daughter happy. Is she like this with her other daughters and their partners?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the situation you're in, but at least you don't have to put up with her for long.
P.s rant all you want. I know it really helps :)
Hazel xxx
Hazel- Oh its shitty alright. Well Lorin's siblings are both single so there is nothing to harass them about. So that leaves only Lorin with a significant other to be snarky to.
ReplyDeleteCan I ask if Lorin's dad is still around and what he thinks of her mothers behaviour?
ReplyDeleteRegardless there's no reason for her to be so rude!
Hazel xxx
Nope, no dad. No step-dad anymore, either thank goodness. She's just weird.
ReplyDeleteWhy are 'some' in-laws like that? That's the most common problem in relationships and marriages. I hope my future in-laws will reserve me the right to be happy. Lol.
ReplyDeleteAww I'm sorry Lorin. Maybe she's jealous of use too? You know, how you two are so in love and aren't afraid to show it when she has no one? And maybe that's why she gets on great with your sisters because they're alone?
ReplyDeleteI don't know tbh, maybe she's just hateful. No offense!
Hazel xxx
“Because we love the cat more than you, you foul loathsome creature with gingivitis. We’d push you down the stairs, but being a spiteful witch you’d probably just fly upwards and give us one of your ear-piercing, shrill nails-on-a-chalk board lectures which would drive a lonely swamp hermit who hadn’t had company in decades to suicide. Why don’t you stop trying to masquerade as a human being and go back to your miserable hole instead of mingling with us surface dwellers? I’m betting you come here not because she’s your daughter, but because she’s the closest thing you have to a friend left after you drove everyone else away with your banshee-like whining. The only thing I’ll enjoy more than your death, will be spending your entire inheritance on sex toys to please my wife.”
ReplyDeleteAnd at that point you jog around the room to receive running highfives.
Uh...thanks Drake! May the Gods of Kobal shine on you. Because this has all happened before...
ReplyDelete