Well that dreaded week has arrived. Lorin's mom is in town! She shows up every 10 weeks for her break in the Cirque show. Has it really been 10 weeks since she was last here? I guess so. I have no idea why but she flat out fucking HATES ME!!! I don't get it. Neither does Lorin. We have discussed it over and over and over. There is just no getting it I suppose.
These are just some of the examples over the last 2 years with no particular time of when they happened but are in order.
Example 1: I try to be myself. I am a very friendly chipper type. So I am polite, nice, chatty, helpful, and just overall a happy kind of person when Amy is around. Lorin and I are always very loving around each other so we didn't act any differently. We hold hands, smile, tickle each other, and are just genuinely affectionate. Now she doesn't say this to me directly but according to her I am just an immature ass(but I can certainly tell thats what she is thinking). I get looked down on because I am happy. And Lorin has to hear about what a douchebag I am. How we shouldn't be together blah blah blah! How lazy and worthless I am (even though our house was always clean). How she is somehow supporting me and so on... OK...fine then!
Example 2: I am quiet and keep to myself when my mother-in-law is around. I don't go with the rest of them out to eat. I just gather whatever we have around the house to munch on. This time when she was in town Lorin and I laid off the affectionate behavior since it was so obviously annoying Amy. Now that she is in town this time around I am working two jobs and therefore I really wasn't home that much and I am always busy...but exhausted. So avoiding Amy was relatively easy. Just so you know, I am the type that if I don't get an invite I am not just going to invite myself and tag along. I am the type who, if I can't pay for my own meal I don't wanna have someone else do it for me. Lorin is annoyed because I won't come with them when they go out to eat. (By the way, when AMY is in town she never wants to eat home cooked meals. She just goes out to eat all the time) Lorin's sisters are also telling me to come out with them when they all go out so their mom doesn't get all grouchy and tell them about "how rude I am because I never come out with them" or "Lorin and I are not happy because we never are around each other" or "what's wrong with Lorin and Gary are they breaking up or something since they are not as affectionate as they used to be" or "he is so lazy the house is never clean(I was working two jobs you bitch), or...whatever! Grrrr...
Example 3: She's back! This time I had started in college and had quit one of my jobs(it was just not going to work 2 full time jobs and full time student). So I have one job and am now finally using my MGI Bill money for schooling. I had been talking about it for years so I finally got into a position to where I could. GOOD FOR ME! Well at the time we only had the one computer in the house that Lorin bought when her laptop took a dump and so she got a desktop Mac. Well, everytime I went to do my homework or write papers for my classes...there Amy was just goofin off on the computer. Now mind you, she has her own laptop in her room but for whatever reason she just had to be on this computer. I felt odd about asking her to get off of the computer so I could do some homework but I did every once in a while. Sometimes I would get a chipper "ok...yea sure...you have important stuff to do", or a grumble...and then she would get up, or just a stern look...then she would remember that she has to be passive aggressive and so she would fakely smile and get off the computer. This makes me uncomfortable as hell because she already hates me, but I mean come on...you have your own FUCKING computer! Smile and nod...smile and nod! So the only time I was able to be on the computer was fucking early AM. I would wait til she would go to bed which was like midnight or so and then I was free to use the computer. Most of the time this led me to be up til like sunrise sometimes. But oh well...no awkward confrontations. Well...sorta! Lorin was always pissed because I would come to bed til late. But I couldn't help it. So I didn't "hear" about so much hatred of me this time but I could just feel it. So to combat this situation for future Amy-visits I went and bought my own laptop(thank God she hasn't messed with it...I would lose my damn cool).
Example 4: Well the last time she was in town, she came at a bad time. I was out of school for the summer(not by choice...but because all the classes filled up before my grades had even posted from the Spring...I got screwed). Which means I have no GI bill money...so I am broke for the summer because my job money helps pay the bills and groceries and I had to pay for a laptop. Lorin was having issues at the Eldo job. Our cat died(one of my earlier posts in this blog)the day Amy arrived so we were already upset. Well this last time she was here it was a fucking nightmare, as previously written. So I decided to take her up on the invites to going out with the rest of them to eat(I am so broke that I kind of have to)...bad idea! I try to be nice but quiet...bad idea! I try to be socialable but not too overly chatty...bad idea! Lorin and I stay just only barely affectionate with Amy around...not so bad idea! Well I just can't win...because we had the most awkward dinner ever. So bad in fact that Lorin and I couldn't stay in the house all night. I had been trying to be social and go out with all of them when they went out to dinners over the last few visits but...that...will...never...happen...again!!! I cannot take anymore of her shit. Among all the other shitty days we had when she was here she started off in a great mood. Really...I had never seen her in such a good mood. Then...it got...horrible. She was alway in a pissy mood and she was always gossiping to Lorin's sisters about us and all kinds of other shitty behavior like: "they are so lazy" or "why do I have to pay for everything" or "why are they so upset over their cat dying...it just a cat" or "why are they acting so strange why don't they just going to break up already" or "why isn't Lorin with Mike(who Amy adores) instead of Gary(who Amy loathes)" or "why doesn't Gary have any money(duh...I don't have any GI Bill money because I am not in fucking class this summer)" or any other snarky remarks she has made openly or whispered! What the hell! I just can't win with her.
It took Lorin and I like 3 and half weeks to recover from her last visit. And now she is back! She flew in on Monday and there was some awkwardness. Luckily she is staying over at the Washoe house this time and she is only in town for a little over a week. So in this visit I am going to stick to just eating at home or for whatever I can buy my damn self. I am not going to have late papers because lack of computer usage. I am not going to get involved in family arguments. I am not going to be overly nice, just be civil. I am not going to give a damn. I am just going to pretend like she isn't here and that Lorins and my life doesn't get turned upside down with her crap!
Sorry folks my blood just gets a boiling when she shows up now. I have taken it for years now and I am truly fed up with it. I know this is one helluva rant but believe me this ain't even close to half of it. There is so much more but I would probably be typing for several weeks. So hopefully I will not be in a bad mood this week. So sorry if I am.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
This is gonna be one of those weekends...
Just what the title says!
Well I will elaborate some. I am at work for most of today, like 11 hours of being there. We have a ton of cleaning to do. Lorin has other activities going on today and tommorrow. Now that I have temporary access to the MyMathLab for my math class I have to play catch up with that. We have a dish to prepare for this coming BBQ on Monday. Lorin's mom and sister are coming one on Sunday the other on Monday. And just a bunch of other hectic activities to keep us going around in circles. Ahhhhhh!!!
Well I will elaborate some. I am at work for most of today, like 11 hours of being there. We have a ton of cleaning to do. Lorin has other activities going on today and tommorrow. Now that I have temporary access to the MyMathLab for my math class I have to play catch up with that. We have a dish to prepare for this coming BBQ on Monday. Lorin's mom and sister are coming one on Sunday the other on Monday. And just a bunch of other hectic activities to keep us going around in circles. Ahhhhhh!!!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My 30's
Well I am now 30 years old. I guess I don't get to say I am in my 20's anymore and have to say I'm in my 30's. Gosh...I'm...old! Oh well!
Does this mean I can retire? Collect social security? Hang out in bars and talk about the good ole days? Go to the community center and play bingo? Hmmm...maybe!
I know I'm not really old. I just remember back to when I was a little kid thinking 30 was old. Now that I am here. Its just another number. So when you see me bitching about being in my 30's now, just know that I am joking...with myself mostly.
When I do get old, though, I am definitely going to be one of obnoxiously perverted old guys. When a young guy tells a dirty joke, people might think him a perv. When an old guy tells a dirty joke, people think its funny. Nobody pulls a can of pepper spray on an old guy. Nobody shouts sexual harrassment on an old guy. Nobody thinks an old guy as a pervert, they just smile or chuckle. Do you ever notice those old guys who will pat a girl on the butt, tease them about how good they look, always give them a full frontal hug(just so they can have the girls chest up against them), give a wink at a lady, look a woman up and down while raising their eyebrows, or any other slightly inappropriate behavior and the lady just thinks its cute, not a chance...but cute. When I am old, thats going to be me!
Anyways thats a long time from now. As for now I have the day off today and so does Lorin. I have no idea what are agenda for today is going to be but I am sure it will be fun. It's my day to have fun and do whatever, so I am going to do it. Bye ya'll and have a great day!
Does this mean I can retire? Collect social security? Hang out in bars and talk about the good ole days? Go to the community center and play bingo? Hmmm...maybe!
I know I'm not really old. I just remember back to when I was a little kid thinking 30 was old. Now that I am here. Its just another number. So when you see me bitching about being in my 30's now, just know that I am joking...with myself mostly.
When I do get old, though, I am definitely going to be one of obnoxiously perverted old guys. When a young guy tells a dirty joke, people might think him a perv. When an old guy tells a dirty joke, people think its funny. Nobody pulls a can of pepper spray on an old guy. Nobody shouts sexual harrassment on an old guy. Nobody thinks an old guy as a pervert, they just smile or chuckle. Do you ever notice those old guys who will pat a girl on the butt, tease them about how good they look, always give them a full frontal hug(just so they can have the girls chest up against them), give a wink at a lady, look a woman up and down while raising their eyebrows, or any other slightly inappropriate behavior and the lady just thinks its cute, not a chance...but cute. When I am old, thats going to be me!
Anyways thats a long time from now. As for now I have the day off today and so does Lorin. I have no idea what are agenda for today is going to be but I am sure it will be fun. It's my day to have fun and do whatever, so I am going to do it. Bye ya'll and have a great day!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Ugghh week over
Ahhh my week is over...its time for the weekend now! Well not much has happened this week just going to school then going to work then going to school then going to work etc..
My body feels like I was just beaten with a bamboo cane. So Wednesday at around 4pm, it started with both of my legs cramping up for absolutely no reason. I went on to work and afterwards I had to get Lorin to massage them and she found these huge muscle cramps in them. I don't think she has ever heard me scream so much.
Well Thursday same as before legs still crampy. However, a new pain had started. I seemed to have a kink in my neck and my upper back near my shoulder blades had a huge knot also, which probably caused the neck pain. So same as before went to work but now not only am I limping but I also can't move my neck very far and I am all hunched over with back pain. Hmmm! So when I get home I can't take my neck pain anymore so I have Lorin massage that knot in my back. Sure enough my neck doesn't hurt as bad and believe it or not my legs don't feel as bad either. Problem solved!
Friday... New problem! My legs are almost better, my neck is almost better, my back is still hurting a little but not as bad. So when I was at work my right hand seems to have some kind of kink near my thumb and palm area(no...its not a beating off problem...I'm left handed for that). So now a new pain...great... Its not a constant pain but I have some trouble with certain hand motions. My favorite is I can't turn the ignition in my truck, I have to use my other hand for that because its like I have no strength in my hand...and it hurts. I have figured out where the pain is but massaging it is rather difficult because of its location in my hand.
What next? I joked at work being that my big 3 0 birthday is next thursday, so I am just blaming it on old age. But really, what the hell is going on?
So now its Saturday midnightish. Am I going to wake up with a new pain for tommorrow or what?
Gosh I sound like a whiny bitch don't I? Well I will stop with all the negative waves. On a good note I don't have to go back to work til tuesday. That is all...thank you come again!
My body feels like I was just beaten with a bamboo cane. So Wednesday at around 4pm, it started with both of my legs cramping up for absolutely no reason. I went on to work and afterwards I had to get Lorin to massage them and she found these huge muscle cramps in them. I don't think she has ever heard me scream so much.
Well Thursday same as before legs still crampy. However, a new pain had started. I seemed to have a kink in my neck and my upper back near my shoulder blades had a huge knot also, which probably caused the neck pain. So same as before went to work but now not only am I limping but I also can't move my neck very far and I am all hunched over with back pain. Hmmm! So when I get home I can't take my neck pain anymore so I have Lorin massage that knot in my back. Sure enough my neck doesn't hurt as bad and believe it or not my legs don't feel as bad either. Problem solved!
Friday... New problem! My legs are almost better, my neck is almost better, my back is still hurting a little but not as bad. So when I was at work my right hand seems to have some kind of kink near my thumb and palm area(no...its not a beating off problem...I'm left handed for that). So now a new pain...great... Its not a constant pain but I have some trouble with certain hand motions. My favorite is I can't turn the ignition in my truck, I have to use my other hand for that because its like I have no strength in my hand...and it hurts. I have figured out where the pain is but massaging it is rather difficult because of its location in my hand.
What next? I joked at work being that my big 3 0 birthday is next thursday, so I am just blaming it on old age. But really, what the hell is going on?
So now its Saturday midnightish. Am I going to wake up with a new pain for tommorrow or what?
Gosh I sound like a whiny bitch don't I? Well I will stop with all the negative waves. On a good note I don't have to go back to work til tuesday. That is all...thank you come again!
Monday, September 13, 2010
I am just in a sappy mood. Lorin and I spent the whole weekend together just being together and that makes me HAPPY. Sometimes we don't get much time together. Ok we are a little sickening to others because when we are away from each other for longer than 8 hours we get all mushy. We mostly like to spend time just cuddling. You will not believe how much time we lose together. One minute its like such and such time and the next its like 3 hours later. Its like what the heck happened to our day. Other people tend to think we are a new couple and then we tell them how long we've been together and they're like "really? you guys are sooo cute"! I thought I would post some pics of us taken over the last few years. No particular holiday or reason for this post other than I just felt like posting it.
This is us all dressed up for the Opera
Us at a Blue Man Group party
We like taking pictures together
Yea we are super nerdy...but we don't care!
Lorin and I posing a Lake Mead(for those of you not familiar with the Las Vegas area its where Hoover Dam is located)
This is us at a bar getting drunk
Gary and Lorin out at the gun range
Kissy kissy...yea I know mushy right?
Yea we are kinda odd but it works for us.
I couldn't not post pics of me and Lorin without posting pics of our babies now could I. Here are the little furballs:
Here is Archibald(Archie) he is a pure bred Shetland Sheepdog(Sheltie)
This is Bartimus(Barty) he is a pure bred Papillion...and he likes to drive my truck!
They are so cute when they're asleep
And then there are the twins. We got them different color collars (with bells on them) so we could tell them apart. Yellow collar is Christov(Chris) and Orange collar is Demetrius(Dema).
Well thats our little family. And we all Love each other very much. Bye bye now
This is us all dressed up for the Opera
Us at a Blue Man Group party
We like taking pictures together
Yea we are super nerdy...but we don't care!
Lorin and I posing a Lake Mead(for those of you not familiar with the Las Vegas area its where Hoover Dam is located)
This is us at a bar getting drunk
Gary and Lorin out at the gun range
Kissy kissy...yea I know mushy right?
Yea we are kinda odd but it works for us.
I couldn't not post pics of me and Lorin without posting pics of our babies now could I. Here are the little furballs:
Here is Archibald(Archie) he is a pure bred Shetland Sheepdog(Sheltie)
This is Bartimus(Barty) he is a pure bred Papillion...and he likes to drive my truck!
They are so cute when they're asleep
And then there are the twins. We got them different color collars (with bells on them) so we could tell them apart. Yellow collar is Christov(Chris) and Orange collar is Demetrius(Dema).
Well thats our little family. And we all Love each other very much. Bye bye now
Friday, September 10, 2010
I despise stupid people
Ok just to let you know a few things about me. And some funny stories to go with my pizza adventures.
I currently have been working at a pizza place called 5 Buck Pizza. I've been there for almost two years. Its run by Tony-owner and his brother Derek-general manager(my boss). I know its not the most glamorous of jobs, but hey its a job. I work there because well there is an economic/no job crisis going on in America; I consider it a college kind of job, since I'm in college...why not; I get all the FREE PIZZA I want; I'm an assistant manager there so I can pretty much do what I want(provided the tasks get done); the pay is low but the tips are good(when I am out delivering the pizza); as far as flexible work schedule go there is not much better, they work around my personal and college schedule, when I want time off I get it, when I need more hours I get it; and lastly I get to meet some interesting people!
In the time I have worked there I have come across some really...dimwitted people. Me and Derek we are very much alike so when we get together it is quite...um...entertaining. We also pass along stories of amusement when customers are dumbasses.
So last night as I am closing up the store. Literally the lights are out, the alarm is set, signs say closed, and I am locking the doors. I get done locking the doors and have turned around to go to my truck and there is this couple walking up to me. I say "hi" and start to go to my truck and they proceed to ask me "um...are you guys closed"? I'm thinking "really...what was your first clue"? But I say "yes we closed like half an hour ago, and I am heading home". They say "oh...so we can't get a pizza"? I'm thinking "wow...these people are real rocket scientists". I say "yea we closed". They ask "do you think you could open it back up and make us one real quick"? I say "no I would have to turn off the alarm, turn the oven back on and wait for it to heat up,clock back in, break out the register, make the pizza and send you on your way which would take about 20 to 25 minutes and I really don't want to do all of that". They storm off muttering to each other "that was rude all we wanted was a pizza". I just roll my eyes and go home thinking "idiots"!
Now mind you that is not the first time village idiots have wandered to my store. There are many other tales to tell. Like:
Phone rings
I pick up and answer: thank you for calling 5 buck pizza how may I help you?
Dude guy on the other end of the line: um...yea how much are your pizzas?
Me: five bucks.
Dude guy: oh.
Lady walks in
Lady: I would like to order 4 pizzas blah blah blah.
Derek: ok well your total is blah.
Lady: um...that can't be right, I am supposed to get a discount.
Derek: ok...why is that?
Lady: because I am Tonys mother, who is the owner of this place.
Now mind you the owner and Derek are brothers, so the look that Derek has is priceless.
Derek: ohhhh really now...thats funny because Tony never mentioned that we have another mother... he and I are brothers by the way!
The lady now has a stupid look on her face and says "oh I see...well here's the money, keep the change" as she hurries out of the store.
Really...are people this cheap? Our pizzas are 5 frickin bucks!
Closing time the phone rings
I answer: thank you for calling 5 buck pizza after hours I am sorry we are currently closed.
Caller: um I would like to order this and some of that and some more of this.
Meanwhile I am trying to interrupt him telling him that we are closed, but he is just not listening.
Caller: did you get all of that?
Me: sir we are currently closed.
Caller: what... well why didn't you say so?
Me: I did...
Mohawk guy walks into store
Mohawk: hi I'm here to pick up my pizza.
Me: ok what did you order because I haven't had any orders recently?
Mohawk: what...I just called like 15 minutes ago and spoke to this chick and she took my order.
Me: we don't have any women who work here.
Mohawk: umm...really...than who the hell did I call?
Me: not here.
Mohawk: (checking his phone) oh I called this other place...oops
Angry guy walks in and comes up to the counter where I am
Me: how may I help you?
Angry guy: do you work here?
Me: nope...I am just trying to rob the place while wearing a employee shirt so nobody is the wiser.(I am a little bit of a smart ass sometimes)
Angry guy: hmm...well I would like to speak to a manager about your attitude and about a complaint on your pizza.
Me with a huge grin on my face: ok let me just get one for you.
I turn around and yell out my own name and then turn back around to the angry customer.
Me: hi...I'm a manager how may I help you? I say this with the most sarcastic tone possible.
Angry guy with a confused then even more angry look on his face. We'll just call him Angrier guy now.
Angrier guy: yea I bought this pizza from you guys two days ago, I ate part of it the day I bought it and decided to have a slice of it today and it has now gone bad. What are you going to do about it?
Me: umm...nothing! What AM I supposed to do about that?
Angrier guy: what...you're not going to do anything? I want my money back or another pizza in its place.
Me: well did you put the pizza in the fridge after you ate some of the first night?
Angrier guy: no...but that doesn't matter.
Me: well actually it does. First of all, you are not getting anything. You didn't put the pizza in the fridge, you bought it two days ago, and you are just not smart.
Angrier guy: well whatever...I am never buying from you guys again!
Me: ok...glad to be of help...bye bye now!
Are people really this stupid? My answer is yes they are and somehow manage to live here. I sometimes wonder why I don't have a special pin labeled DARWIN AWARD WINNER for some of these morons, that I can just hand out to them or mail to them when they do or say dumb shit.
Well that's all of the stories for now. I know it was a long blog but I hope it was an entertaining one. Bye for now.
I currently have been working at a pizza place called 5 Buck Pizza. I've been there for almost two years. Its run by Tony-owner and his brother Derek-general manager(my boss). I know its not the most glamorous of jobs, but hey its a job. I work there because well there is an economic/no job crisis going on in America; I consider it a college kind of job, since I'm in college...why not; I get all the FREE PIZZA I want; I'm an assistant manager there so I can pretty much do what I want(provided the tasks get done); the pay is low but the tips are good(when I am out delivering the pizza); as far as flexible work schedule go there is not much better, they work around my personal and college schedule, when I want time off I get it, when I need more hours I get it; and lastly I get to meet some interesting people!
In the time I have worked there I have come across some really...dimwitted people. Me and Derek we are very much alike so when we get together it is quite...um...entertaining. We also pass along stories of amusement when customers are dumbasses.
So last night as I am closing up the store. Literally the lights are out, the alarm is set, signs say closed, and I am locking the doors. I get done locking the doors and have turned around to go to my truck and there is this couple walking up to me. I say "hi" and start to go to my truck and they proceed to ask me "um...are you guys closed"? I'm thinking "really...what was your first clue"? But I say "yes we closed like half an hour ago, and I am heading home". They say "oh...so we can't get a pizza"? I'm thinking "wow...these people are real rocket scientists". I say "yea we closed". They ask "do you think you could open it back up and make us one real quick"? I say "no I would have to turn off the alarm, turn the oven back on and wait for it to heat up,clock back in, break out the register, make the pizza and send you on your way which would take about 20 to 25 minutes and I really don't want to do all of that". They storm off muttering to each other "that was rude all we wanted was a pizza". I just roll my eyes and go home thinking "idiots"!
Now mind you that is not the first time village idiots have wandered to my store. There are many other tales to tell. Like:
Phone rings
I pick up and answer: thank you for calling 5 buck pizza how may I help you?
Dude guy on the other end of the line: um...yea how much are your pizzas?
Me: five bucks.
Dude guy: oh.
Lady walks in
Lady: I would like to order 4 pizzas blah blah blah.
Derek: ok well your total is blah.
Lady: um...that can't be right, I am supposed to get a discount.
Derek: ok...why is that?
Lady: because I am Tonys mother, who is the owner of this place.
Now mind you the owner and Derek are brothers, so the look that Derek has is priceless.
Derek: ohhhh really now...thats funny because Tony never mentioned that we have another mother... he and I are brothers by the way!
The lady now has a stupid look on her face and says "oh I see...well here's the money, keep the change" as she hurries out of the store.
Really...are people this cheap? Our pizzas are 5 frickin bucks!
Closing time the phone rings
I answer: thank you for calling 5 buck pizza after hours I am sorry we are currently closed.
Caller: um I would like to order this and some of that and some more of this.
Meanwhile I am trying to interrupt him telling him that we are closed, but he is just not listening.
Caller: did you get all of that?
Me: sir we are currently closed.
Caller: what... well why didn't you say so?
Me: I did...
Mohawk guy walks into store
Mohawk: hi I'm here to pick up my pizza.
Me: ok what did you order because I haven't had any orders recently?
Mohawk: what...I just called like 15 minutes ago and spoke to this chick and she took my order.
Me: we don't have any women who work here.
Mohawk: umm...really...than who the hell did I call?
Me: not here.
Mohawk: (checking his phone) oh I called this other place...oops
Angry guy walks in and comes up to the counter where I am
Me: how may I help you?
Angry guy: do you work here?
Me: nope...I am just trying to rob the place while wearing a employee shirt so nobody is the wiser.(I am a little bit of a smart ass sometimes)
Angry guy: hmm...well I would like to speak to a manager about your attitude and about a complaint on your pizza.
Me with a huge grin on my face: ok let me just get one for you.
I turn around and yell out my own name and then turn back around to the angry customer.
Me: hi...I'm a manager how may I help you? I say this with the most sarcastic tone possible.
Angry guy with a confused then even more angry look on his face. We'll just call him Angrier guy now.
Angrier guy: yea I bought this pizza from you guys two days ago, I ate part of it the day I bought it and decided to have a slice of it today and it has now gone bad. What are you going to do about it?
Me: umm...nothing! What AM I supposed to do about that?
Angrier guy: what...you're not going to do anything? I want my money back or another pizza in its place.
Me: well did you put the pizza in the fridge after you ate some of the first night?
Angrier guy: no...but that doesn't matter.
Me: well actually it does. First of all, you are not getting anything. You didn't put the pizza in the fridge, you bought it two days ago, and you are just not smart.
Angrier guy: well whatever...I am never buying from you guys again!
Me: ok...glad to be of help...bye bye now!
Are people really this stupid? My answer is yes they are and somehow manage to live here. I sometimes wonder why I don't have a special pin labeled DARWIN AWARD WINNER for some of these morons, that I can just hand out to them or mail to them when they do or say dumb shit.
Well that's all of the stories for now. I know it was a long blog but I hope it was an entertaining one. Bye for now.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Do you ever have a movie that just won't stop repeating itself in your head? Do you ever find yourself quoting lines from a movie that is playing in your head? Do you ever find yourself quoting those movie lines thinking no one is around only to find out you are not alone? Do you wanna know what movie regularly plays in my head, I quote lines from, and accidentally quote them while I don't know I am being watched? It is SUPER TROOPERS! Oh my gosh! I have seen this movie so many times I can recite it verbatim. I have no idea why... I love this movie but you'd think that I would be over it by now right? NOPE! If you have never seen this movie or don't like this movie...my apologies!
I really don't know why I have been quoting these 3 lines all day long. Maybe I need to watch it again for thousandth time. Get outta my head already! Oh don't worry I'm just crazy. Thank you come again!
I really don't know why I have been quoting these 3 lines all day long. Maybe I need to watch it again for thousandth time. Get outta my head already! Oh don't worry I'm just crazy. Thank you come again!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
All over the United States
So I decided to post all of the states in the US that I have been and this what I've got so far. I am not gonna list all of the town or cities because I can't remember some of them and that would just take too long! Call it laziness!
As you can see I have been just about everywhere in the US with an exception to Vermont, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island(its such tiny state), Delaware, Alaska(mostly because I have to go through Canada to even get there),Minnesota, North Dakota, West Virginia(because I sure do have me a perdy mouth...boy), and Michigan. I'm not really sure if I have been to Iowa or not so I just say that is a no. I have been to 39 out of 50 states and that ain't bad.
Lorin and I do have some plans over the next year or two to go to all the national parks here in the US. Which that will be loads of fun. Eventually I will make my way off to some other countries again. I haven't left the US in about 6 years or so. I am due. I just have to get off my ass and get a passport. It was nice being in the military because I didn't need a passport, my military ID worked just fine. Now I've go and spend some money just to be able to leave the country. First and foremost I have to have money to get the damn passport. I hate being broke! Ok well back to whatever it is you were doing before you visited my blog.
As you can see I have been just about everywhere in the US with an exception to Vermont, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island(its such tiny state), Delaware, Alaska(mostly because I have to go through Canada to even get there),Minnesota, North Dakota, West Virginia(because I sure do have me a perdy mouth...boy), and Michigan. I'm not really sure if I have been to Iowa or not so I just say that is a no. I have been to 39 out of 50 states and that ain't bad.
Lorin and I do have some plans over the next year or two to go to all the national parks here in the US. Which that will be loads of fun. Eventually I will make my way off to some other countries again. I haven't left the US in about 6 years or so. I am due. I just have to get off my ass and get a passport. It was nice being in the military because I didn't need a passport, my military ID worked just fine. Now I've go and spend some money just to be able to leave the country. First and foremost I have to have money to get the damn passport. I hate being broke! Ok well back to whatever it is you were doing before you visited my blog.
I have decided to make a map of where I have been on my journeys around the world on this handy dandy map. Gooo Meee! So here it is
I am not going to name the cities I have been because that would just take too long. But here is a list of the countries
Australia, Afghanistan(shhh its hush hush), Egypt, United Arab Emirates(the most beautiful of deserts), Oman, East Timor, Phillipines, Thailand, Hong Kong, China, Japan, Ireland, Italy, Greece(I loved it), Bahrain, Qatar, Canada, Mexico, Seychelles(absolutely beautiful), Germany, Iraq, Kuwait, Kenya, Singapore, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Tarawa Islands, Iwo Jima, I think that is all of them. I am not counting my own country the United States because that is just gonna have to be on a different map.
Like I have stated in previous posts, I was an active duty US Marine so that will explain most of the hellholes listed in places I have been. There were, however, some absolutely beautiful countries I have seen and I loved every minute of my travels. I will say that as far as deserts go I have been to just about all of them with an exception to the Gobi desert in Mongolia. I will have to make my way there one of these days so I can say that I have been to every desert in the world, and of course to say that I have been to Mongolia...because I mean really...who the hell goes to Mongolia anyhow? Have you ever met anyone from Mongolia? Its like here in the US, have you ever met anyone from Wyoming? I have met one person from Wyoming and he went off to join the Marine Corps just to get the hell out of there. Thank you... come again!
I am not going to name the cities I have been because that would just take too long. But here is a list of the countries
Australia, Afghanistan(shhh its hush hush), Egypt, United Arab Emirates(the most beautiful of deserts), Oman, East Timor, Phillipines, Thailand, Hong Kong, China, Japan, Ireland, Italy, Greece(I loved it), Bahrain, Qatar, Canada, Mexico, Seychelles(absolutely beautiful), Germany, Iraq, Kuwait, Kenya, Singapore, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Tarawa Islands, Iwo Jima, I think that is all of them. I am not counting my own country the United States because that is just gonna have to be on a different map.
Like I have stated in previous posts, I was an active duty US Marine so that will explain most of the hellholes listed in places I have been. There were, however, some absolutely beautiful countries I have seen and I loved every minute of my travels. I will say that as far as deserts go I have been to just about all of them with an exception to the Gobi desert in Mongolia. I will have to make my way there one of these days so I can say that I have been to every desert in the world, and of course to say that I have been to Mongolia...because I mean really...who the hell goes to Mongolia anyhow? Have you ever met anyone from Mongolia? Its like here in the US, have you ever met anyone from Wyoming? I have met one person from Wyoming and he went off to join the Marine Corps just to get the hell out of there. Thank you... come again!
Well this is the second week of the fall semester. On Tuesdays it is my Human Sexuality class. Hmmm...Gary...taking a sex class...frightening... Well I have to say I am enjoying that class the most as I thought I would.
In todays class we discussed the different ways of having sex. Such as: angry sex, make-up sex, break-up sex, rough sex, oral sex, anal sex, passionate sex, compassionate sex, pity sex, sexy sex, upside down sex, back of the car sex, public sex, just friends sex, just sex sex, group sex, bondage sex, happy sex, sad sex, aquatic sex, and so on...
Another of the categories we discussed were the different sexual positions. Like: missionary style, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69, on the counter top, scissoring, and so on but my ears perked up at this one...roast on a spit position... Where I stop the class to go "what the hell is a roast on a spit"? Where the girl reading off the list from her group tells me "oh...its when a girl is on all fours and one guy is in back and the other is in front of her like rotisserie over an open flame". I say "oh"! I guess even at almost 30 you learn new sex stuff!
Now I didn't mean for my blog to go all sex stuff and stuff, but oh well its my blog and I will do what I want to. My apologies to anyone who reads this and goes "OH MY GAWD this blog is written by some pervert talking about sex all the time"! I can assure you that I do not blog about sex ALL the time and that I am not some pervert... I am a provert(I have gone professional)! Thank you that is all for now.
In todays class we discussed the different ways of having sex. Such as: angry sex, make-up sex, break-up sex, rough sex, oral sex, anal sex, passionate sex, compassionate sex, pity sex, sexy sex, upside down sex, back of the car sex, public sex, just friends sex, just sex sex, group sex, bondage sex, happy sex, sad sex, aquatic sex, and so on...
Another of the categories we discussed were the different sexual positions. Like: missionary style, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69, on the counter top, scissoring, and so on but my ears perked up at this one...roast on a spit position... Where I stop the class to go "what the hell is a roast on a spit"? Where the girl reading off the list from her group tells me "oh...its when a girl is on all fours and one guy is in back and the other is in front of her like rotisserie over an open flame". I say "oh"! I guess even at almost 30 you learn new sex stuff!
Now I didn't mean for my blog to go all sex stuff and stuff, but oh well its my blog and I will do what I want to. My apologies to anyone who reads this and goes "OH MY GAWD this blog is written by some pervert talking about sex all the time"! I can assure you that I do not blog about sex ALL the time and that I am not some pervert... I am a provert(I have gone professional)! Thank you that is all for now.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
It has begun
Yea school started on Monday. I think I fall into the old man category in all my classes. I'm surrounded by youngsters! Oh well.
My math class is ok. Who the hell ever heard of doing math homework on the web? The way I usually do math is with a pencil and paper. Not and computer! Odd! Fortunately I have one friend in class with me.
Sociology...hmm! My professor...is...on...DRUGS!!! He looks like he is in his 80's and at first class seems to be a bore and then the drugs kick in and he is bouncin off the walls.
Human Sexuality. Yup I'm taking a sex class. Its labeled as Psych 130 so it must be legitimate. The class had to sign disclaimers to be able to take it. Which makes me go...hmmm...interesting. This one should be a lot of fun. No...we don't not have sex in the class...but I think we will be watching some porn...that'll be fun! This class is mostly about the classmates. That makes me happy because I don't have very many friends.
So hopefully I will make some friends. I know I would sound strange and desperate...if I started walking up to people and asking them "would you like to my friend?" I can imagine it now. "Hell no freak" or "what's in it for me" or "yes if you show me what your insides look like(as they pull out a machete)" or "like totally...you're old enough to buy beer for us right?" or "dude sure...you got crack I can bum off of you?" or "no we only associate with other rich snots living off of our parents money" or "sorry you have to play some kind of a sport" or "what the fuck...are you like stalking us or something...help...call campus security" or the usual answers to questions like that. I personally wouldn't want to be someones friend either if they came up and asked me if I would be their friend(except in my current no friend situation I might actually say yes).
Other than that Lorin and I are just blowing right through NCIS season 7. We have to clean because she has company coming over tommorrow night. Poop!
I don't want to sound like I have a horrible life or something so don't take what you read above as me being a total loser. I'm only a quarter of one. I have Lorin who makes my day wonderful. I have some strange animals (2 dogs and 2 cats) who very much entertain us daily. I enjoy life and the things that it brings me. So I am not really complaining(except that I don't have a group of friends). I think this semester in school should be rather fun. Well that's all for now.
My math class is ok. Who the hell ever heard of doing math homework on the web? The way I usually do math is with a pencil and paper. Not and computer! Odd! Fortunately I have one friend in class with me.
Sociology...hmm! My professor...is...on...DRUGS!!! He looks like he is in his 80's and at first class seems to be a bore and then the drugs kick in and he is bouncin off the walls.
Human Sexuality. Yup I'm taking a sex class. Its labeled as Psych 130 so it must be legitimate. The class had to sign disclaimers to be able to take it. Which makes me go...hmmm...interesting. This one should be a lot of fun. No...we don't not have sex in the class...but I think we will be watching some porn...that'll be fun! This class is mostly about the classmates. That makes me happy because I don't have very many friends.
So hopefully I will make some friends. I know I would sound strange and desperate...if I started walking up to people and asking them "would you like to my friend?" I can imagine it now. "Hell no freak" or "what's in it for me" or "yes if you show me what your insides look like(as they pull out a machete)" or "like totally...you're old enough to buy beer for us right?" or "dude sure...you got crack I can bum off of you?" or "no we only associate with other rich snots living off of our parents money" or "sorry you have to play some kind of a sport" or "what the fuck...are you like stalking us or something...help...call campus security" or the usual answers to questions like that. I personally wouldn't want to be someones friend either if they came up and asked me if I would be their friend(except in my current no friend situation I might actually say yes).
Other than that Lorin and I are just blowing right through NCIS season 7. We have to clean because she has company coming over tommorrow night. Poop!
I don't want to sound like I have a horrible life or something so don't take what you read above as me being a total loser. I'm only a quarter of one. I have Lorin who makes my day wonderful. I have some strange animals (2 dogs and 2 cats) who very much entertain us daily. I enjoy life and the things that it brings me. So I am not really complaining(except that I don't have a group of friends). I think this semester in school should be rather fun. Well that's all for now.
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