Two cases of stupidity behind the wheel

Why the hell do we allow colossal morons to drive automobiles? I really don't know! I have two cases of idiocy that I witnessed this morning.

1 - On my way to class this morning, I was behind this pick-up truck that started tailgating the car, an older model lexus, in front of him. The lady in the lexus, was going about 20mph in a 35mph zone. I could see why the young guy in the truck was annoyed. Now if you are driving a substantially less speed than the speed limit for whatever reason(injured, vehicle malfunctions, inexperience, etc) you should have the courtesy of turning on your hazard lights. Not this lady.
Now the dude in the truck was not exactly in the right either. For the next half of a mile, he proceeded to ride her ass. I mean like mere inches from her bumper. She did not drive faster or pull off the road or turn on her hazard lights. She just continued on like nothing phased her.


Well there is about a quarter of a mile straight away before the school, it is a no passing zone for unknown reasons(people always seem to drive slower than the speed limit here for whatever reason), but the dude in the truck started to whip around to pass the lady in the lexus. She had slowed to about 15mph in a 35mph zone. As soon as she saw him begin to pass her she gunned her engine and sped way up. I am watching these two idiots race in a somewhat residential area taking up both lanes neither giving way to the other.
Well the guy managed to get in front of the lexus at the very last second before another car coming towards us in the other lane and an almost head-on collision happened. The lady in the lexus was obviously furious. She was headed to the school also.
In the parking lot, they both exited their vehicles and began to scream at each other...profanity here profanity there! I parked and walked up to the both of them. The lady was in her mid to late thirties, the guy was about 20 or 21.
Lady in the lexus: WHAT THE HELL? WHY WERE YOU RIDING MY FUCKING ASS? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK? ARE YOU ON DRUGS OR SOMETHING? I WISHED YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THAT WRECK IT WOULD HAVE TAUGHT YOU A LESSON! I AM GONNA CALL THE POLICE ON YOU AND HAVE YOUR ASS THROWN IN JAIL FOR RECKLESS DRIVING!
Dude in the pickup truck: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE YOU FAT FUCKING COW? I WAS RIGHT TO PASS YOU AND THEN YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED BECAUSE YOU SPED UP NOT LETTING ME IN FRONT! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF LESSON WOULD I LEARN IF I'M DEAD YOU DUMBASS BITCH? I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOU FOR YOU BEING RECKLESS!
Me: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! Now listen lady you were in the wrong by not pulling off the road or hazard lights or driving the speed limit or closer to the speed limit. Then when this guy goes to pass you speed up almost causing an collision. That is fucking stupid. Dude! What gives you the right to be on someones ass like a hemorroid? No kidding she sped up. I don't think that either of you have any room to bitch. Ya'll should go about your business and be glad your both fucking alive. Now since I am the witness to this whole debacle, I think after my statement to the police the DMV would be glad to revoke both of your licenses for reckless behavior. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS OR I WILL NOTIFY THE POLICE OF YOUR RECKLESS DRIVING AND DISTURBANCE OF THE PEACE!
They both looked at each other and then at me, kind of drooping their heads a bit, and walked away without another word. I am glad to see that I am the peacemaker of the world sometimes.

2 - There are these apartments right beside our house. Well for the most part WE HATE THEM! The apartment complex there has a large parking lot but somehow the people there find it necessary to park out on the street. Now this doesn't bother me that much. It's when they park too close to our driveway or in front of our driveway, that really irks my nerves. Thus preventing us to get out or get into our driveway. I have left nice notes and bitchy notes before on vehicles(I know...women are usually the ones to leave notes on cars but oh well I guess I am more on my feminine side). I usually will find the notes, nice or not, crumpled up in our yard or in the back of my truck. Very few take heed to my notes.
Well today as I am coming home from class, there is this bonehead parked directly in front of my driveway. Banging his head, bumpin his hands on the dash to his music, and blasting the radio to an obscene volume. Now don't get me wrong I like all(and I do mean all) kinds of music but to blast YOUR music to extremely loud decibels is just tacky! I stop and honk my horn for him to move and the dipshit gives me the finger and continues to perform to his steering wheel. So at this point I am annoyed! I get out of my truck turning on my hazard lights(like a smart person does) and walk over to the reject of society.
Me:Hey dude! You are blocking my driveway.
Dumbshit: So!
Me: Move...out...of...the...fucking...way! Because people don't seem to hear you unless you add a profanity in your sentence.
Dumbshit: Why? I is waiting on my homie. You can just sit the fuck over there and wait until he comes out and then I will move.
By this time there are cars honking as they drive by because I am blocking one side of the street. As you have read I can't go anywhere because my driveway is being blocked by the village idiot.
Me: No! Get the FUCK out of the way of my driveway!
The dumbshit looking confused, glances over to where my driveway is located and seeing that he is right in the middle of it.
Dumbshit: Oh...my bad! I didn't know there was a driveway there. I thought I was in your parking spot or somthun. Gimme a sec and I will move.
Really? How the fuck couldn't you see a driveway? It is only a concrete slab smack in the middle of someones yard. Furthermore, there are no designated parking spots on a residential road! What a dumbass!
Me: Ok...
The dufus moves forward fifteen feet and resumes to bump his music. I could give a shit. I am glad that I am not a hot-headed gun owner. Lorin says she does keep her gun in her car for the very reason she just might shoot a dumbass. I do keep mine in there and advertise it with a sticker that says "Insured by Glock" along with all of my Marine Corps stickers that cover my truck. Just so people know its there and that I know how to kill them with more than just a gun! Boasting? Yes! Do I care? Not really! I was really, however, tempted to pull it out and start waving it about. I didn't because that would only be a moronic move on my part. Two wrongs don't make a right. I am not the kind of person that will threaten someones life just because they're stupid. But boy...do I sure think it!



That's been my morning of dealing with the local stupids...have a nice day!