This post is rather disgusting so don't read if you're not in the mood

Not to be gross or anything, but Taco Bell makes my ass hurt! No...I think I will be gross! As much as I enjoy my Taco Bell, it sure gives me the shits! We had the Bell last night and I am forseeing a day of being on the toilet cursing the day it was ever thought up! Screaming "oh my gosh what was I thinking!"

Do you ever just gross yourself out while pooping? I have been on the toilet going poo and the sound of my bum and the sloshing water was just awful. I thought to myself "how did I get here crying and gagging in the bathroom?" or "dear God let me leave this bathroom alive!" or "I hope nobody heard that!"

Have you ever called others over to come and look at what you just defecated? I have. When I was a younger man I asked a fellow Marine to have a look at the turd I just shat. As he is walking up I said "doesn't my turd kind of resemble the country Italy?" Or another time in the USMC, where I was out in field and had dug a 2 feet deep hole in the ground to shit in. The damn thing was sticking out about 5 or 6 inches out of the hole. That was a masterpiece! Eating MRE's(meals ready to eat) for several weeks will do that to you!

Have you ever farted and grossed yourself out by the smell? Yup! That one has happened to me also! No stories on that one. It usually happens after Taco Bell though! I can sometimes clear a room.

Do you ever use public restrooms and hope that no one comes in while you are taking a dump? I generally don't poop in public restrooms, but I have when it has been too much for me to hold. Once while doing number 2, someone came in...coughed a couple of times...then ran out screaming! Well this was gross yes, but the worst part was that it was a womans voice I heard. Yup! I had just taken a dump in the wrong bathroom. As I sat there fully embarassed, I wondered to myself how exactly I was going to leave this bathroom without getting noticed? Because I could hear the woman outside of the bathroom door chatting with someone. I could only imagine that her and her lady friend(s) were waiting outside just to see who it was that made such a stink! So what the hell was I going to do? I came up with an idea that I am not proud of. I finished, put on my best performance, and walked out.(I am not trying to offend anyone by telling you what I did, so I am so very sorry if it does) I came out of the bathroom and pretended to be mentally handicapped(as I said I am not proud of that)! She and her two friends were nearby and had mortified looks on their faces. Then they just walked away mumbling to each other sheepishly and from the sound of it they were embarassed for waiting there to see who came out! YES! My plan worked!

Ok well that's all the grossness I can muster for one day. I hope that this amuses you. I also hope that this post has not offended anyone in anyway. Thank you and have a nice day!